Let Yourself Go
by SouthernStars
Summary: He wanted to see her snap, wanted to see what was underneath that sunny, innocent exterior, wanted to see what she didn't let herself feel and she let him push her. TxG oneshot


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own 'High School Musical' or any related characters.**

**A/N: I promise the next chapter of 'Dangerous Fascination' is on its way, but I needed to write a one-shot to clear my head. **

_**Let Yourself Go**_

Gabriella Montez was just about to snap. Just about to lose control of every emotion she had kept to herself in the years before East High and the months after. The emotions that she locked away in a tightly sealed box, hidden beneath the carefree, innocent demeanor everyone at East High saw day after day, week after week. Everything every one of her friends saw, everyone one of her friends except one and to him, watching her, right now, knowing how close to the edge she actually was. Was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. He watched as she trembled, tried to force the emotions straining to get out, have free reign over her, back into the box they'd been trapped in since she'd refused to allow herself to feel anything more than she allowed herself to feel. He watched as triumph flashed through her eyes and knew that she was positive she'd regained control of what was happening, regained control of those struggling emotions. He wasn't about to let that happen, she was going to snap whether she liked it or not. Partly because of his own selfishness, he wanted to see what was underneath that sunny exterior, wanted to see the other, darker side of Gabriella Montez and partly because he figured she needed to, needed to snap to settle her own demons.

"That won't do anything, you know that." He said it casually, neutrally, the barely there hint of amusement the arrow that penetrated the tightly controlled exterior that had been in the process of sliding back into place. And she glared at him, went to hit something and stopped.

"Screw you Bolton." She shot at him, her voice like ice, her eyes reaching a level of coolness that no-one, not even Sharpay, could reach. He merely raised his eyebrows at her, waited for something more and when it didn't come, decided to dig a little deeper.

"Aww, now we all know you want to do that." He smirked at her and was rewarded with an attempt at a slap. He caught her hand just before it made contact with her cheek and tightened his grip when she yanked at it viciously.

"No _we_ don't." She hissed. Her emphasis on the 'we' amusing him as she yanked again at her hand and was instead pulled closer.

"Yes we do. Tell me Brie, am I the first guy you wanted to screw?" He said it with such carelessness; his cheek was stinging within a second of the last word leaving his mouth. She stared at him, waiting for his retaliation, waiting for some kind of anger and instead was rewarded with a smirk and knew, _knew_, that he'd only said it to get a reaction. _That_ reaction.

"Well, seems I forgot you had another hand." He pushed her away from him as he spoke, not caring about his cheek as she continued to glare at him.

"Seems like you did. Did I hurt little basketball man?" She taunted, tossing her shoulder length hair over her shoulder as she glowered at him. The smile he gave was as taunting as it was dangerous and Gabriella barely trembled, her eyes blazing angrily as he stared back at her, blandly amused.

"No. Did it hurt little decathlon champ?" He inquired, lazily stretching his arms above her head and watching her as she flinched at the name. He smirked again, knowing he had hit a sore point and knowing she was another two pushes away from the edge.

"How could it hurt me? It wasn't my cheek." She snapped at him and he advanced. Pushing away from the armchair he had been leaning on and advancing towards her. Watching as she refused to move, even when he was only a hairs breadth away from her and she had to look up to glare into the hypnotizing blue eyes, she refused to move away from him. Refused to believe he had her exactly where he wanted her.

"Not the slap, little decathlon champ, the comment." He said and her eyes flared, the brown of them burning as she made a movement to shove at him and then thought better, knowing he wouldn't move. Troy's eyes flashed at her reaction to the words and knew it was only moments away. He could see her struggling even before she realized she was, see those emotions winning even before she realized she was losing.

"Don't call me that." She spat at him, the tiniest of trembles entering her voice and his eyes flashed with triumph as he watched the last thread holding her together, the last seal on the box, strain and quiver, needing only one more taunt, one more barb, to break.

"Call you what? The smartest girl in the class, the one that excels, our own little decathlon champ? The one that no-one can see is more than the freaky outsider reading a freaking book?" The words whipped through the air and slapped her in the face. And she snapped. The last thread breaking, the last seal snapping as she stood and stared at him. Pale with shock at his words, emotions she didn't want swirling around inside her, making a break for a chance to force her to feel them.

"You fucking jerk." She barely whispered it, didn't think he'd hear it, the emotions inside her screaming so loudly she wasn't sure they were only heard by her or not.

He didn't move, didn't reply, only watched as a different kind of anger bubbled up inside her. He watched in pure fascination as she struggled for another moment, tried desperately to force the emotions back into the broken box and then smirked when she gave up and unleashed it on him.

"You fucking jerk! Why the hell did you want this?" She shouted and shoved at him. He didn't move. She didn't care. "Why the fuck do you care about what I feel? Who the hell gave you permission to climb up my fucking balcony just to see what would happen? What the fuck did you expect to happen, huh Troy? Did you expect tears? Did you expect me to collapse into your arms sobbing? So you could soothe me and tell me to let it all fucking out?" She screamed at him, pounding into his chest and feeling more and more trapped as he stood silently. Those blue eyes staring at her impassively, taking note of every single thing she did, every expression that ran through her eyes, watching the beautiful destruction of Gabriella Montez.

"You don't fucking care do you? You don't care, you expected this. You wanted this, didn't you? That's why you kept pushing, ever since I let it slip that it doesn't hurt anymore. Doesn't fucking hurt when someone says something about me," she let out a bitter laugh as he watched the anger cool slowly and her voice lowered. "Why the fuck did you want to know this? Why did you want to see it?" She snapped at him, her eyes closing as the anger reached simmer and an overwhelming sadness washed over her as she remembered the taunts, snipes and mocking that she'd put up with over the years. Brought out by his comments and the coolness and remote amusement he'd said them all in.

"Because I wanted to see exactly what was hidden beneath that sunny, innocent exterior that everyone sees." He replied, his eyes serious as she scoffed at him. Her eyes slowly becoming furious and disbelieving again as he stared at her.

"And what the fuck did you expect to be underneath it? An essay waiting to tell you exactly how I got this way? Or a book telling you the life story of Gabriella Montez?" She asked menacingly and shoved at him again, feeling anger welling up again as his eyes turned cool and calculating.

"The fucking book. What the hell did you think I expected? I expected what I found, a fucking box, all sealed up, holding in all that freaking hurt and anger and God knows what else underneath that perfect exterior." He shot at her and she shook her head, his words provoking her into hitting his chest again, causing a rise of anger she was sure he knew was going to appear when he'd spoken.

"You _knew_? How the hell could you have know? _You're _the one that doesn't talk about emotions, the one that clams up when you know everyone else is near. How the fuck can you stand here and tell me that I have a fucking sealed box, when you're the one that has a box that's sealed so tightly no-one else can see what you're fucking feeling?" She yelled and he nearly smirked at her words. God, this was beautiful to watch. The power he had, knowing any word he said could make her retaliate the way she was doing right know, knowing right now that she was human as the rest, even more so, was a feeling he wasn't ever going to forget.

"Because every time I run out onto that basketball court, those feelings your talking about flow. Every thing I do on that fucking court that rules my life, is every thing I feel." He shot at her and she continued to glare at him. Furious that he had an answer, furious that she hadn't seen that answer coming; of course it had to be fucking basketball. Nothing else in his life controlled him the way that stupid game did.

"So every thing you do out on that stupid court, reflects exactly what you're feeling? So every girl you've ever screwed and regretted, do we see that on the court, among your 'feelings'? What about arguments with your Dad? Or disappointing your Mom? Does it all just come out?" She asked her aim to provoke and anger him. She felt a twinge of fear, which she squashed ruthlessly, when his eyes darkened.

"What do you fucking think? What about you? Does all your hurts, all your regrets, show themselves in the decathlon competition? Or do you box them away until someone decides that its time you fucking felt something?" He shot at her, the hint of anger in his voice provoking her own and the twinge of fear she ignored again.

"I don't feel anything, because I don't fucking want to! Hasn't that registered with your stupid basketball brain? Or do I need to tutor you in that too?" She snapped at him, feeling more and more like she was losing the argument and the control gained for a few moments of screaming as his eyes flashed with what she knew was anger before dying.

"At least my 'basketball brain' lets me do what I want. Yours is so smart and sensitive it doesn't want you to feel anything in case you respond to it. Do _I_ need to tutor you in that? Do I need to teach you how to feel Gabriella?" Her eyes narrowed at the patronizing anger in his voice. She _hated_ being patronized. What the hell did he think he could teach her? How the hell was she meant to sort out the mess of emotions while being so angry?

"What the hell could you teach me?" She spat at him and froze when his mouth crushed hers. He'd kissed her before, during musical practice and during every performance they gave, but they'd all been soft, caring, sweet. There was nothing soft or caring about the way his mouth was ravishing hers, nothing sweet about the way his hands raced over her. Bruising every part of her they touched as she shoved at him, meaning it even as her hands gripped his black t-shirt and dragged him closer. He tore his mouth away from hers and looked at her, daring her to say something.

"What the fuck was that meant to do?" She hissed at him, her tongue running over her lips in an attempt to soothe. He didn't reply and kissed her again, biting her bottom lip hard enough for her to gasp in pain and then lifting her and dropping her on the bed, her hands gripped his shoulders and she brought him with her. Drawing away he looked down at her, one hand pinning both her wrists above her head as she opened her eyes.

"You know what this is going to do?" He asked her, his free hand pushing her tank top up as she glared up at him, furious that he had gotten her to respond to his kiss and even more so that he'd silenced her screaming emotions. "Its going to make sure you feel something you've never allowed yourself to feel." He said and lowered his mouth to hers again, pushing her deeper into the bed as she tugged at her wrists. Wanting them free to grip at him, to show him she could feel.

He let go of her wrists and pulled her shirt over her head and discarded it, his mouth moving down over her neck. She gasped in pain when his teeth dug into her neck, tugging at his shirt even as he continued to kiss down her body. Her body arched when he kissed her stomach and his shirt joined hers on the floor. In the back of her mind, she remembered his comment earlier and knew he would have thought of it as he did this. She moaned slightly when his hand dug in her, hard enough for her to know it was going to bruise. Hard enough for her to feel it. She barely realized her shorts had been tugged off, joining their shirts on the floor as he moved back up to her mouth. He kissed her again, hard. Just as bruising as the first one had been, just as sure to cause her to feel. Dimly, she was aware that he was doing this because he wanted her to feel bruised, he wanted her to feel pain. Because it was one of the things she'd locked away in the box he'd broken. She'd locked away her ability to feel pain and he was going to cure her of that. Force her to feel something that she hadn't distinguished from the mess swirling in wait inside her.

"Oh God Troy." She gasped as his mouth found a sensitive spot. Gripping the sheets, beneath her, she closed her eyes, which had shot open when his mouth had touched the spot, as she felt him move to hover over her again. Leaning down he bit her earlobe and the kissed it before returning to her mouth. Drawing blood as his bit her bottom lip and tugged at it. She felt tears prick at her eyes and whimpered when he released her mouth.

"You're hurting me." She whispered and Troy let out a breath as she turned her face away from him and he saw the glitter of tears in her eyes.

"Baby, look at me." He commanded softly and Gabriella turned her head back to him, the gentleness in his voice and the fact that he hadn't used her name causing her to respond, her eyes glittering with tears she was trying to force back. "Don't force them away Brie. Don't do that. You need to cry, baby, you need to let yourself feel. You need to let yourself go." The gentleness in his voice, the way he looked at her, the fact that the anger was gone, the pain he'd caused unleashing the tears that she'd forced away, caused her to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling it down to her and burying her face in it.

He was silent as she sobbed, silent as the tears flowed and soaked his neck. He lay there, tangled up in her, stroking her hair as she cried, as the remnants of the comments made time and time again, the remarks that had home so many times, were finally allowed to do the last of their damage. The pain that had caused the damage she'd refused to feel, bubbling up and over time and time again. The beauty of what was happening to her as heartbreaking as the reality of it. Slowly, the tears began to slow, the sobs becoming shaky gasps and the grip on his neck becoming lax as she sniffled. Removing her face from his neck, she looked at him. He smiled at her and kissed her forehead, before moving. Leaning down he grabbed his shirt and handed it to her. She gingerly pulled it over her, different parts of her body aching as remnants of what had happened to her minutes before. She felt exhausted, emotionally and physically. Settling herself back down next to him, she turned to him, wriggled closer as he wrapped an arm around her and brought her to his side.

"Thank you Troy." She whispered, her eyes drooping as he linked his fingers together to keep her as close to him as possible. He looked at her, realizing the beauty of her snapping was the beauty of her when she was like this. Raw, emotional and vulnerable. Kissing her forehead again, he sighed.

"You just had to let yourself go Brie. That's it, just let yourself go." He murmured and closed his own eyes. Not knowing that she smiled at his words or stored them away to make sure she could let herself go next time.

**A/N: So there are probably holes in that, and it might have jumped around a bit making the whole story messy. But I had to vent some frustration and this is always the best way to vent frustration. Sorry about the language, but I was trying to make both characters as human as possible and the result was turning them away from their Disney portrayals. **


End file.
